Happenings 05/05/22

A Mothers Day Reflection, by By Eileen Benthal. 

The greatest career of my life was launched from the bathroom when I peed on a stick and that little pink line got darker and darker before my eyes. My first born, a son, became my CEO for the first nine months by his very existence within the silence of my womb. I remember the day of the discovery well — the ecstatic feelings of joy and tumultuous emotions, in part prompted by shifting hormones. I couldn’t stop talking to and touching my stomach. Those first flutters when I felt my son moving inside my womb made those five months of morning sickness well worth it. Long before I held him in my arms, my vocation of motherhood was born. As any mum knows, the joys of motherhood are always tinged with grief. My son was born in an emergency c-section that almost claimed my life. Thirty-two years later, I still lovingly remind him of this fact. My husband’s joy in first holding our son in his arms was also overshadowed by concerns as he watched doctors and nurses scurry beside me to stop the bleeding. Three days later, and only hours after he settled his new little family into our apartment, my husband struggled to tell me the news that one of my older sisters was killed in a tragic car accident as a drunk driver hit her and her adolescent son. In the final moments of her motherhood, my sister protected her son as she shoved his body into the safety of the floor of the front seat to reduce the impact of the crash. In the quiet darkness of that same night, as I sat in bed nursing my infant son that still small voice of God spoke a prophetic word into my motherhood that has carried me through the past 32 years: “I gave you this child as a sign; I bring new life in the midst of death.” This deeper truth has guided me through even the smaller joys and sorrows of motherhood. It also reminded me that every milestone and period of growth in my four children was preceded by struggle and every trial held the potential for greater things. As any mum knows, kids enlarge our hearts even as they break them. They don’t mean to break our hearts. But the constant balance of holding them close and letting them go is part of the sweet perils of motherhood. The strength of motherhood lies in our ability to grasp and let go of our children. We protect them from evil and step aside so life can teach them how to stand on our their own and weather the storms.“Supermum” is not a title I ever aspired to, but she is the perfect image that haunts every mum. Every mum is a super mother as defined by the looks of admiration in their child’s eyes. We are the miraculous vessels and co-creators of human life. Whether they share our DNA or not, our children are our greatest works and gifts to the world. The best mums know motherhood can’t be done alone and the worst mums are the ones who think they can. Each generation has its models of motherhood born of a mix of moral and cultural norms idealized in movies, television and now on social media too … Our children’s steps towards independence can’t be plotted on a curve, but rather forged on the unpaved road of endless possibilities. The lines on her face tell a story of motherhood that only a few can tell. Her cheeks are often tear-streaked as her sobs are silenced by the pillow she cries into in the dark of night. In her, gratitude runs deep because she has learned the blessings that come through the biggest storms, the wisdom that is born of trials. And she’s witnessed countless miracles along the way. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in 22 years of raising a child with a rare disease, it’s that I am often in over my head — whether the Lord allowed it or not. I have learned this Godly truth:
“When you are tested, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13
Some days the way out is another hand to help, a cup of coffee or a home-made dinner from a friend. Our escapes are as varied as each mum — with one thing in common — we all need space to breathe. Motherhood is not for the faint of heart. To all mothers far and near, be kind to yourselves and gentle for it truly is the hand that rocks the cradle who has the greatest impact on this earth.