Happenings 22 October 2020

Home / Blog / Happenings 22 October 2020

Just thinking…

Some sobering thoughts:

  • More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
  • Fully half of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardised tests.
  • In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
  • Every piece of bread you eat brings you nearer to death. Bread is associated with all the major diseases of the body. For example, nearly all sick people have eaten bread.
  • The effects are obviously cumulative:
    • 99.9% of all people who die from cancer have eaten bread.
    • 100% of all soldiers have eaten bread.
    • 99.7% of the people involved in air and auto accidents ate bread within 6 months preceding the accident.
    • 93.1% of juvenile delinquents came from homes where bread is served frequently.
  • Evidence points to the long-term effects of bread eating: Of all the people born in 1839 who later dined on bread, there has been a 100% mortality rate.
  • Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average Kiwi eats more bread than that in one month!
  • Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
  • Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jam, peanut butter, and even salami.
  • Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.
  • New-born babies can choke on bread.
  • Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 230 degrees Celsius! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

Most bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling. In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions: No sale of bread to minors. A nation-wide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers. A 300 percent tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread. No animal or human images, nor any primary colours (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools. STOP THE EVILS OF BREAD, TODAY!

Ok ... that was all a bit of fun! But if not everything we call evil actually is, is there actually evil? Come along and find out!

In Him,

This Sunday 25 October…

The Opposition Party : He was a big character in Revelation, but who exactly is Satan and how should we view him?

Kids Programmes This Sunday

Spark is our program for older preschool to year 2 kids,
Blaze is for kids in years 3-5,
Ignite is for young people in years 6 and above.

Family Fun Night!

On Saturday 21 November from 5:30 - 9pm, we will be having a Family Fun Night in the church! Come and join us for a pre-Christmas dinner with all the trimmings and an exciting programme for all to enjoy! Please wear a party hat - there will be prizes for the most original hat.

Costs are:
Adults - $10
Children - $5
Family - $25
Under 6 Free
Please pay when you book. Bookings and payments will be taken at church on 1, 8 and 15 November.

Looking forward to celebrating together!
The Hospitality Team

mainly music

Our mainly music programme for young children has started again for term 4! Come along every Tuesday at 10am to the church. Newcomers are most welcome!

Revelation Small Group Series

The Revelation Small Group Series are studies looking at Jesus’ messages to the seven churches and asking what they mean for us today. This follows on from the Revelation sermon series and starts on Wednesday 21 October at 7:30pm. There will be five studies: 21, 28 Oct, 18, 25 Nov, 2 Dec. Enquiries contact the church office.

Home Groups

Young Adults Home Group
Every Thursday evening at 7:30pm. Please email the church to be added to the Facebook page, and check Facebook for updates of what we have going on. We'd love for you to join us!

Revelation Bible Study
The Revelation Small Group Series are studies looking at Jesus’ messages to the seven churches and asking what they mean for us today. This follows on from the Revelation sermon series and starts on Wednesday 21 October, 7:30pm. There will be five studies: 21, 28 Oct, 18, 25 Nov, 2 Dec. Enquiries phone the church office.

Myth-busters Small Group
Myth-busters is a 5 week series exploring what the Bible actually says about some key topics rather than what we think it says. Please contact the office if you are interested.

SHAPE Small Group
Pastor Murray will be leading a SHAPE Small Group series, looking at how God has wired you for service. Please register your interest by contacting the office.

Wednesday Night Home Group
Home Group at the home of Paul and Ruth Ungemuth every second and fourth Wednesday at 7:30pm. Each week we share in supper, do a bible study and pray for each other. Will begin on Wednesday 13 February. Contact the office for more information.

Thursday Morning Home Group
Home Group in the church lounge on the third Thursday of the month at 10am. After morning tea we do a bible study and pray together. Contact the office for more information.

You can check out what’s happening from our Facebook page by clicking here.

You can check out all our Sunday services during the lock-down from our YouTube channel by clicking here.

You can find out what’s happening at RBC by joining our e-newsletter list. Please contact the office if you wish to be added to this.